Dante's Nine Circles of Forum Hell

10 Antworten [Letzter Beitrag]
andyprough
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Beigetreten: 02/12/2015

I noticed that Lutes and Masaru went to different circles of Forum hell when they passed away.

Lutes went to "Access Denied" hell.

But Masaru went to "under review" "Access Denied" hell.

I will now commence researching the additional Seven circles of hell, and will try to document the distinguishing features of all Nine circles, and any celebrity personalities or politicians that I find on each one. My report will be called "Dante's Infernal Inferno".

So far, I believe I have found another forum circle of hell called the "n/a" circle, which is where Hutte appears to have disappeared to.

If anyone else has clues to the circles of forum hell, please advise me using cryptographic messaging in the comments below. Please only use Satan-proof and Demon-proof cryptography. Also Beelzebul-proof, Belial-proof, and Dragon-proof and Serpent-proof cryptography.

AnhangGröße
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lanun
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Beigetreten: 04/01/2021

> Lutes went to "Access Denied" hell.

I knew them very distantly, but surely they would never try to gatecrash Hell. They would rather try to trick Satan into opening the door to test-fire the latest version of Brasero or PyrePox, and surreptitiously sneak inside in order to gather intelligence on these damned giant carpenter ants.

That said, rumour has it that there are in fact seven circles of forum hell, one per deadly sin and associated demon. See the Lanterne of Light for more details.

Myself I always thrive to live within the bright light of the seven virtues. Chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness. In all humility, of course.

andyprough
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Beigetreten: 02/12/2015

Perhaps these are actually the 8 hells in Buddhism that lie under the continent of Jambudvīpa, each hell being divided into various torture rooms that the forum seems to have in common with the Buddhist concepts of hell: black sand, boiling excrement, five hundred nails, hunger, thirst, copper pot, many copper pots, stone mill, pus and blood, trial by fire, river of ashes, ball of fire, axe, foxes, forest of swords, and cold.

I'm a bit strange, but I'm always happy to take my chances with the torture room of foxes as opposed to the torture room of boiling excrement.

lanun
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Beigetreten: 04/01/2021

> another forum circle of hell called the "n/a" circle, which is where Hutte appears to have disappeared to.

Boba The Hutte Hutt most probably went back to his ancestral Hutt's hutte and settled there for a meditative life devoid of futile pixelated distractions. Rumour has it that he is now herding carpenter ants for purely artistic purposes. Also, he retrofits wooden huts with aluminum and PVC carpentry.

So he eventually became an irrelevant answer for most computing purposes, including forum thread listings, and is referred to accordingly ("non applicable": "used on a form when you cannot give a relevant answer to a question"). He is in the Void circle of Forum Hell, which would then be the eighth (or circle 0). It has no specific demon associated with, nor deadly sin, because otherwise it would not be void any more.

My guess is, the ninth and unbreakable circle of Forum hell must be forums themselves, except Troll Lounges. Trolls suffer a fate worse than any other burning or freezing punishment there, and endure such torture that few manage to keep their genuine Troll nature. Most eventually morph into flat forum users, posting either bland content or such convoluted content nobody really understands.

andyprough
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Beigetreten: 02/12/2015

> "He is in the Void circle of Forum Hell, which would then be the eighth (or circle 0). It has no specific demon associated with, nor deadly sin, because otherwise it would not be void any more."

But how can we possibly even know it exists? Just by mentioning it or even thinking about it, you've changed it from a complete void state into something different. In fact, you've probably started the cataclysmic end of the entire universe. Your forum post will probably result in the next big bang, which will simultaneously destroy this universe and begin the next one.

lanun
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Beigetreten: 04/01/2021

> the next bigbang

In the void there is no big bang, no little bang, no big crunch. In the void, we shall be forever, as we have always been. There is no such thing as time either in the void. And no alarm clocks, so please bring your own.

Some think there is a form of consciousness that somehow inhabits and encompasses the void. Some suggested that this is the last illusion that stand between us and the perception of the true absurdity of our condition. I am currently trying to merge the two approaches, I'll let you know if I make any progress.

lanun
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Beigetreten: 04/01/2021

Progress update: after all, alarm clocks might not be needed in a timeless setting.

andyprough
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Beigetreten: 02/12/2015

How can you have "progress" or an "update" if there is no time? I'm beginning to think you aren't taking this project seriously.

lanun
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Beigetreten: 04/01/2021

Oh please, let us tackle one problem at a time. For which, for the time being, we still need some time scale. This reminds me of Wittgenstein trying to provide us with a ladder that we can throw away once done. What a waste of ladder.

Or are you in fact pretending to be posting from the void? Not sure at all how that would go with the TLCCCP. I am not of the reporting type, but our little conversation about the void will surely not go unnoticed forever (time scale permitting).

andyprough
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Beigetreten: 02/12/2015

> Or are you in fact pretending to be posting from the void?

One does not post from within the void. The void posts from within one.

> our little conversation about the void will surely not go unnoticed forever

It is both noticed eternally and not-noticed eternally at the same (non-existent) time.

> This reminds me of Wittgenstein trying to provide us with a ladder that we can throw away once done. What a waste of ladder.

Sounds like Wittgenstein was addicted to Donky Kong.

lanun
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Beigetreten: 04/01/2021

Quite unexpectedly, time has just ended.

It happened at the very moment when I was reaching the conclusion that accepting the Buddhist view that the universe is, in fact, the void or - to paraphrase the Prajñāpāramitā Sūtra - non-universe, totally makes sense (and non-sense). We are the void, we are non-we, and we are at this very non-moment of non-time the void discussing the void with the void. Also, non-void. Since time was suspended at the time of thinking, I cannot be sure any more.

-- This was a message from the void. Special permission was granted by TLCC Enforcing Committee Order #25.326.b from undisclosed date, time being currently void until further notice.