Can't get TOR to work

Here's what happens whenever I try to use it with all the defaults. It just says "Loading Network Status"... and the clipboard shows this... no clock involved I guess:

18/07/16 10:14:02.900 [NOTICE] DisableNetwork is set. Tor will not make or accept non-control network connections. Shutting down all existing connections.
18/07/16 10:14:02.900 [NOTICE] DisableNetwork is set. Tor will not make or accept non-control network connections. Shutting down all existing connections.
18/07/16 10:14:02.900 [NOTICE] DisableNetwork is set. Tor will not make or accept non-control network connections. Shutting down all existing connections.
18/07/16 10:14:02.900 [NOTICE] Opening Socks listener on 127.0.0.1:9150
18/07/16 10:14:03.900 [NOTICE] Bootstrapped 5%: Connecting to directory server
18/07/16 10:14:04.700 [NOTICE] Bootstrapped 10%: Finishing handshake with directory server
18/07/16 10:14:05.800 [NOTICE] Bootstrapped 15%: Establishing an encrypted directory connection
18/07/16 10:14:06.300 [NOTICE] Bootstrapped 20%: Asking for networkstatus consensus
18/07/16 10:14:06.600 [NOTICE] Bootstrapped 25%: Loading networkstatus consensus
18/07/16 10:14:06.700 [NOTICE] I learned some more directory information, but not enough to build a circuit: We have no recent usable consensus.
18/07/16 10:14:21.500 [NOTICE] Closing no-longer-configured Socks listener on 127.0.0.1:9150
18/07/16 10:14:21.500 [NOTICE] DisableNetwork is set. Tor will not make or accept non-control network connections. Shutting down all existing connections.
18/07/16 10:14:21.500 [NOTICE] Closing old Socks listener on 127.0.0.1:9150
18/07/16 10:14:21.900 [NOTICE] Delaying directory fetches: DisableNetwork is set.

And whenever I try a bridge, here's the outcome:

18/07/16 10:21:51.200 [NOTICE] DisableNetwork is set. Tor will not make or accept non-control network connections. Shutting down all existing connections.
18/07/16 10:22:04.900 [NOTICE] DisableNetwork is set. Tor will not make or accept non-control network connections. Shutting down all existing connections.
18/07/16 10:22:04.900 [NOTICE] DisableNetwork is set. Tor will not make or accept non-control network connections. Shutting down all existing connections.
18/07/16 10:22:04.900 [NOTICE] DisableNetwork is set. Tor will not make or accept non-control network connections. Shutting down all existing connections.
18/07/16 10:22:04.900 [NOTICE] Opening Socks listener on 127.0.0.1:9150
18/07/16 10:22:06.100 [NOTICE] Bootstrapped 5%: Connecting to directory server
18/07/16 10:22:06.100 [NOTICE] Bootstrapped 10%: Finishing handshake with directory server
18/07/16 10:22:48.600 [WARN] Proxy Client: unable to connect to 83.212.101.3:41213 ("general SOCKS server failure")
18/07/16 10:23:00.600 [WARN] Proxy Client: unable to connect to 109.105.109.147:13764 ("general SOCKS server failure")
18/07/16 10:23:04.800 [WARN] Proxy Client: unable to connect to 154.35.22.13:443 ("general SOCKS server failure")
18/07/16 10:23:06.200 [WARN] Proxy Client: unable to connect to 198.245.60.50:443 ("general SOCKS server failure")
18/07/16 10:23:06.200 [WARN] Proxy Client: unable to connect to 192.99.11.54:443 ("general SOCKS server failure")
18/07/16 10:23:06.300 [WARN] Proxy Client: unable to connect to 154.35.22.9:443 ("general SOCKS server failure")
18/07/16 10:23:06.300 [WARN] Proxy Client: unable to connect to 154.35.22.12:80 ("general SOCKS server failure")
18/07/16 10:23:06.300 [WARN] Proxy Client: unable to connect to 154.35.22.10:41835 ("general SOCKS server failure")
18/07/16 10:23:06.300 [WARN] Proxy Client: unable to connect to 109.105.109.165:10527 ("general SOCKS server failure")
18/07/16 10:24:00.200 [NOTICE] Closing no-longer-configured Socks listener on 127.0.0.1:9150
18/07/16 10:24:00.200 [NOTICE] DisableNetwork is set. Tor will not make or accept non-control network connections. Shutting down all existing connections.
18/07/16 10:24:00.200 [NOTICE] Closing old Socks listener on 127.0.0.1:9150