Geek Jokes

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tdlnx

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Does anybody know of any tech/geek/gnu/linux related jokes they would be willing to share. The cornier the joke the better!

What do you do when you are in need of a new operating system?

- Get a "gnu" one!

*cue groans in 3.. 2.. 1..

tomlukeywood
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tdlnx

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I've read most of those, I love stupid geek humor.

JadedCtrl
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 14.04!

tdlnx

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Ha! It took me a little bit!

quantumgravity
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?

quantumgravity
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It's about versions of trisquel and ubuntu, but i still don't get it :/

tdlnx

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It's a play on the old joke: "Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9!"

Ubuntu "9" I believe was actually Ubuntu 14.04 :)

Unless I'm completely wrong and then I look like an idiot haha!

JadedCtrl
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It was a play on the "Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9!" joke.
Trisquel 6 was based on Ubuntu 12.04, and Trisquel 7 was based on Ubuntu 14.04.
Therefore 6 was a afraid of 7 because it ate 14.04.

SuperTramp83

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tdlnx

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"Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows."

Haha

Jodiendo
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My 3 centavo corny joke

Do you know, that all laptops with any GNU program have a quick violent digitize death specially in digital AFRICA?

The digital lion, the digital cheetah, and the digital leopards love and prefer to hunt the darn digital GNU all the time, specially during digital migrations. POOR Gnu laptop.

tdlnx

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Poor GNU!

Pic credit: "Gnu-color-reiss-head" by Joseph W. Reiss for the Free Software Foundation - Color Gnu Head. Licensed under FAL via Wikimedia Commons - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Gnu-color-reiss-head.jpg#/media/File:Gnu-color-reiss-head.jpg

Gnu-color-reiss-head.png
Jodiendo
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Another 2 centavo joke.

I ask 3 guys, If they ever heard of Trisquel OSI?

One guy asked: Is trisquel some kind type of candy?

I replied: no, it is not candy.

another guy stated: Trisquel must be a kind of bacteria.

I replied: No is not about bacteria, remotely.

The other just laugh and said: Must be a Microsoft program. Since you mention OSI!

I told him: You have a good 50% probability that it will rain tonight with your answer. Trisquel is a GNU/Linux program, that is Libre and better than Microsoft...

All three guys left,saying, kill the GNU, then feed it to hyenas and take the penguin to a taxidermist.

They all work for Microsoft...

Bunch of broken 12 dollar an hour windows idiots!

Mangy Dog

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hi there!
some here
computer jokes
"
The Microsoft engineer suggests, "Why don't we close all the windows,
get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it will work."

http://www.shoptcs.com/cjp/com/index.htm
http://www.shoptcs.com/cjp/com/17.htm

this site contains some but mostly in French:
his best one is
http://vadeker.net/articles/humour/windows_test.html
http://vadeker.net/articles/humour/microsoft1.htm
as exemple:
Le boot qui fait peur:(the scary boot)

C:\WINDOWS>dir a:
Le volume dans le lecteur A n'a pas de nom
Le numéro de série du volume est 2C59-17F5
Répertoire de A:\
MICROS~1 EXE 527,857 01-28-97 5:02p Microsoft Big_Bang 1.0a
README TXT 98,968 10-08-91 1:59a README.TXT
2 fichier(s) 626,825 octets
0 répertoire(s) 830,464 octets libres
C:\WINDOWS>micros~1
Loadind Universe....done
Warning sh: don't know how to make 'light'
Configuring................done
Selecting Solar System
Selecting Earth

<< This is NOT the shareware version. Do not distribute. >>
<< Report any bug at name at domain >>

Creating Map........done
Creating Environment....done
Warning: U-235 not stable
Creating Human Race.....error
Fatal error while configuring Human Race
Bus error, segmentation Fault, core Dumped
Human Race not fully installed. Warning.
Processor Rollback
AE 254254 AF 365365 MMX 099078
BE 788778 BF 783983 MMX 88989F
Procedure: Make_Men_Like_Me PC 36736AF
UPC Intelligence Configuration : not implemented
Trying to recover Human Race :
Process Jesus_Daemon submitted
Process Allah_Daemon submitted
Warning: Illegal Access, Memory violation
Firewall by-passed: Atomic_Bomb enable
10 PRINT "Vous pouvez éteindre votre ordinateur en toute sécurité"
Syntax error in 10
Ready

Jodiendo
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Come on people! the author of this forum, wants you to inspire yourself to write a joke about anything not to give WWW links on jokes. Be an original not a carbon copy! and that is a joke!

tomlukeywood
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true we should think of are own

Mangy Dog

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Good point ;-)
am not a poet or good at prose,let alone remembering any jokes.. but do an odd drawing of funny situations so here's my *inspiration.

http://pix.toile-libre.org/upload/original/1426941857.png

tomlukeywood
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i am currently working on somthing inspired by:
youtube-dl https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmZm8vNHBSU

and the funniest thing ever made this:
youtube-dl https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALZZx1xmAzg

Legimet
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You wouldn't download a car

ssdclickofdeath
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"I would if I could!"--Too many internet commenters.

Legimet
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Another one of these: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vm3MTiphcu8

You wouldn't steal a car
You wouldn't steal a television
You wouldn't steal a movie
The law is stealing films
Stealing is against the law
The law is against the law
The law it's a crime

tomlukeywood
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JadedCtrl
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Agh... The first one caused me physical pain... :p

tomlukeywood
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ssdclickofdeath
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A bit ironic, isn't it?

tomlukeywood
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yup

i just heard on uk radio
that there may be new laws restricting the use of tor

as Isis are using it...

this clearly will stop Isis as if a law is passed in the uk
that stops you using tor i am sure those pepole in another part of the world would instantly stop using it -.-
*please note the extreme sarcasm

this is clearly to stop people being anonymous online
and has nothing to do with Isis

BTW:
i use tor and i am not a Isis member just to point that out

ssdclickofdeath
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Wow. That law will be sooper-effektive.[sic]
I thought United States laws were bad.

SuperTramp83

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I'm an ISIS member and I don't use Tor.

p.s - ISIS= Intelligent super incredible sexy

tomlukeywood
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whats the purpose of your organization?

SuperTramp83

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spreading super incredible sexyness throughout the world in an intelligent manner! :)