Doris


The missus bought a paperback
At Waterstones, on Saturday,
I had a quick look in her bag;
T’was “fifty shades of grey”.

Well I just left her to it,
And then I went to bed.
One hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…..

In her left hand she held a rope,
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down there on the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn’t weathered well;
And she’s eighty four next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
Then things they went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled up upon her feet;
A couple of minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said…
That I must dominate her!!

Now if you knew our Doris,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.

She stood there nude, all naked like;
Bent forward just a bit ….
So I stepped forward like a man,
and stood on her left tit!

Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!

Well readers, I can tell no more;
'bout what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair's,….
Turned “fifty shades of grey”.