How to date girls using free software :P

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GNUser
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Joined: 07/17/2013

Ok, now, please, don't take this too seriously. It's a thought that came along the other day, and maybe it would be fun to discuss here. But let's keep in mind dating girls (or guys for that matter) is not the main target of free software ;)

So, let's say you are out with a couple of friends, they run into a group of girls they know, you get to meet them, bla bla bla, next thing you know you strike a conversation with one of them, but your friends want to go, you can only change contacts and talk later. Nothing major EXCEPT for the fact that these days people only use Skype and Facebook.
You don't have an account? No.
You should create one. I don't like those services.
See ya never weirdo! -.-

Lol, how do you guys avoid these situations? Unless you are all married of course and don't have to deal with these situations xD
Also, how do you girls deal with it when a guys says to you "I don't use facebook because they spy on me and such..." ??

Thanks guys :P

onpon4
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Joined: 05/30/2012

E-mail? Phone numbers?

Tuxon
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Joined: 10/20/2013

Hi i'm a new member..ity's really true that girls use linux free softwere???

GNUser
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Joined: 07/17/2013

I would like it to be that simple :P
These days people have forgotten about those simple things like emails and phone numbers. They think only in terms of facebook and skype. And if you don't have facebook you are a weirdo -.- just because they can't go snoop around on your previous dates/relationships/etc.
But hey, like I said, it was just a thought that popped in my head one of these days, and just wanted to ask if you guys have any "way around" these situations.
Thanks for the reply anyway onpon4 ;)

fbit

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I am fortunate enough not to have to go out to look for romance, but both personally and professionally, I have to agree that life is made difficult without using these services.

Having no facebook, skype, linkedin, google things, etc. and having to explain why is a drawback with acquaintances, family and business relations. Even some close friends think I'm strange.

Lately, and especially if it is someone I don't know well I just say I don't like these things and I don't go into details. Sometimes I find people who look up to me when I say I have no facebook and will say something like "Wow, I wish I could close my account too. How do you manage?" I usually just say that I felt happier when I stopped using it and maybe they would too.

Add to that the fact that I have almost discontinued my use of a cell phone and it is not easy.

I find all of this has become easier to bear since Snowden. Friends may still think I'm strange, but now most at least acknowledge I'm not crazy or paranoid :)

GNUser
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Joined: 07/17/2013

I know what you mean. One of these days I went out without taking my cell phone ( I am starting to treat my cell phone aas a regular home phone :P) and when I got back I had a couple of lost calls (parents and a friend). When I returned the calls and told them that I didn't answer because I was out they were like "What do you want a phone for if you don't take it with you all the time?" xD AHAHAH.

As for the Snowden incident, I have been trying to explain to people that he is not a terrorist, but the media actually makes him look like it -.- stupid media.

EricxDu
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Joined: 02/03/2013

My wife always says: just because you have a mobile phone doesn't mean it's a leash for your friends to always reach you 24/7

Also, I don't answer my phone unless I'm in an appropriate area, even if I have it with me. I assume other people have the same liberty ;-)

Dave_Hunt

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Eric, how wise your wife is on this mater of the mobile phone! LOL. I hae one, check its messages a few times a day, and it's usually turned off. Re: the liberty to not answer the phone: We all have it; who's willing to take it?

__martin__
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Joined: 12/25/2012

Well-put. Although I cannot yet get rid of Google Hangouts.. because of girls. Tried experimenting with little to zero cellphone use.. but caused me unbearable mental states stemming from utter social isolation.

onpon4
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Joined: 05/30/2012

Nobody you talk to uses a cell phone? I find that hard to believe.

If someone looks down on you because you don't use Facebook, I would seriously question whether that person is worth talking to.

quantumgravity
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Joined: 04/22/2013

Normally I explain the reasons why I don't use facebook or skype in a few sentences; I try to put my words carfully so no facebook user in the group feels attacked.
If a girl really doesn't want to listen or calls me a weirdo because I don't do something bad many people do - well, then I'm lucky I got rid of this person!
A real cool girl will be impressed because I don't use facebook ;)
All the others... I can live without them.

Same thing with smoking or alcohol... if this is the basis and precondition for my new friendship I can gladly refuse.

But yeah I think we feel the actual power of facebook. Kind of a social "pull" - I don't know the right expression in english.

GNUser
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Joined: 07/17/2013

Yeah, there is a lot of pressure into using certain services. maybe it's because "everyone uses it" or "it' not really that bad" or even "I don't have anything to hide". But like jacob appelbaum has said we all have something to hide or else we would walk around naked ;)

I just think it's a bad thing that sometimes people won't talk to us because of something so stupid =/

People around me have phones yes, lol of course they do. But they feel sometimes more confortable giving their facebook or skype rather than their phone number. Maybe they are the ones with something to hide ;) :P eheheh

icarolongo
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Joined: 03/26/2011

Try to talk and meet girls in Diaspora, pump.io, etc :-D

GNUser
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Joined: 07/17/2013

That is a good idea actually ;)
Doubt that I will find anyone near me in there, but its worth a shot.
Now, it would be really laughable if a girl there would go like "hey I rarely come here, add me on facebook" xD LOOOOOOL
thanks!

salparadise
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Joined: 09/08/2013

Amaze him/her by asking for a land address and write them a letter.

My wife still has the letters I wrote to her 25 years ago when we first met. The same cannot be said for any of the more recent texts and emails.

GNUser
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Joined: 07/17/2013

Aww, the beautiful 80s and 90s *.*
Sometimes I wish I had lived in those years.
Too bad that if you ask for their address they will most certainly call the cops to arrest "the stalker" xD ahaha.
I totally agree with you however that those were the things that held more meaning.

quantumgravity
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Joined: 04/22/2013

"Too bad that if you ask for their address they will most certainly call the cops to arrest "the stalker" xD"

lol
true, true....

salparadise
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Joined: 09/08/2013

They need reeducating.

Can you imagine granny getting out an old 486, powering it up and showing the grandchildren "the lovely emails your grandfather sent me when we were courting"?

I suppose they might be printed off, but it's not the same.

So, the answer is, you don't ask for their land address, you write yours on a sheet of paper and hand it to them, with a smile, and say "write to me".

GNUser
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Joined: 07/17/2013

Now that sir is a lovely idea. I will also let them know HOW to send a letter (joke, but to be honest many young people never had to write or receive a letter).
Thanks ;)

PS: That would be me, getting out an old pentium 1 and showing them my old stuff xD

ssdclickofdeath
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Joined: 05/19/2013

The computer may be broken twenty years from now. Letters are less likely to break of mechanical failure. :P

muhammed
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Joined: 04/13/2013

Haha Sal, what a novel idea ;)

EricxDu
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Wouldn't gramma store all of the memorabilia on a 3.5-inch floppy disk? Oh, right, there's no computer that can read a floppy anymore. ;-)

Dave_Hunt

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Various private and government data horders have copies of these messages; surely, they can be found in indices? LOL. They'll be archived, copied, and redistributed for the life of the interwebs...

Chris

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The last I checked there are still lots of places to find like-minded individuals. I can think of dozens of places within 40 minutes of me and I'm not exactly in a major city. I know from experience many wouldn't touch facebook-or at least would respect my position on it amongst the technically minded crowds. Of them anybody particularly interested in you is going to be OK with this 'no faceboook' mentality. If they aren't they probably aren't for you anyway.

Suggestions:

2600 meetings - http://www.2600.com/meetings/
Any kind of tech meetup (like Drupal meetups) or GNU/Linux user groups
Conferences/events of all sorts (FSF events like Libre Planet, GNU/Linux events, DEF CON, Black Hat, HOPE, Chaos Computer Club, etc)
Places with similar social aims (FreeGeek)
Hacker spaces

Consider traveling to events farther away that particularly peek your interest. It's often much cheaper than you may think. There are various ways to get to and stay cheap.

Suggestions:

If its semi-local hitch a ride (check Craigslist, event wikis, send some emails, etc)

Check bus fairs for companies that offer extremely cheap fairs; Boltbus, Megabus, Chinatown, etc and get tickets way in advance for crazy early hours (It can run as little as $13 USD between cities if you book early and get the ticket for off-hours)

Staying overnight? Try hostels, sharing hotel rooms, or simply find a locals couch to crash on

I traveled about 534 miles by bus round trip and it cost very little to attend the GNU 30th as an example. $20 USD for the ticket from a small town in NJ to NYC, $30 USD for a ticket from NYC to Boston (could have been $13 though if I had bought early and gotten tickets for the right times), $18 USD for a week subway/bus pass, $0 to crash on a locals couch, and I think $16 to come back to NYC, and another $20 to return to my home town. In total it was just $104 USD. In the end I could have done it for less than $90 USD if I had planned farther ahead.

Other trips I've taken farther and it's cost very little. I hit a Portland event for about $300 USD. That took me all the way across the United States. I did Bellevue, WA (cross country and then to a small town that was 4 hours out of the way from a major city) for about $450 USD.

I've also done events that were less than $20 USD and within 40 miles. And other events I was at for just a day for $130 USD (where the tickets actually cost real money, like $90 ish) within 2 hours by bus.

Keep in mind I wasn't going for love to any of these events (except maybe the event itself). Just the events. Point is they are great places to meet new people and it probably won't bankrupt you. If thats too much you may find that you can get away with paying nothing. Just find events in your city. I've been to various meetups within 20 min and most real cities will have numerous options.

GNUser
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Joined: 07/17/2013

Now that was a very informative post. Thanks!
Like I have said, in my country there are not a lot of clubs and meetings like there are in the USA, but I will give a thought about doing a trip.

Oh and for the record, it's not like I am in search for a girl or anything, the thought just popped in my head the other day. Don't want anyone to think that I am in free software because of girls xD actually I would hardly do anything just to get a girl, I have a little bit too much self respect for that ;)

Chris

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I'd be surprised if there weren't lots of options just about everywhere. Its more likely your just unaware of them. But-yea I recall another post saying something similar I wrote. I didn't recall who I suggested something like this to before.

I don't see anything wrong with trying to find a compatible mate. Most people it seems just hit on the most attractive thing that comes along. If anything I'd have more respect for somebody whom is trying to find another who actually means something to them.

axgb
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Joined: 09/22/2013

You could always ask them for an address, and send them a letter. That requires no proprietary software, assuming you write the letter with free software / by hand. Then you can include an envelope for the response. Easy.

The only issue is that the stamp may have been designed with non-free software, and the postal service may use non-free sorting systems. Hopefully, they don't have any system to read the letter.

This system is particuly good, because even if PRISM crack your system and read every data packet that goes in/out, they cannot read your letter without finding it, and opening it. If the letter arrives open, she will notice.

GNUser
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> The only issue is that the stamp may have been designed with non-free software, and the postal service may use non-free sorting systems. Hopefully, they don't have any system to read the letter.

Honestly, I think that is over thinking this. I couldn't care less how they made the stamp, I just want to make sure the glue on its back is not poisonous xD

Unfortunatly it is a known fact that many times letters are read and people never notice it =S
But yeah, that would be a much more sane world to live in, a world to comunicate with our own words instead of pixels. lol

axgb
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I was joking about software used to make the stamp. LOL.
The letter can be shredded after being read. But who could be bothered to raid a recycling bin

t3g
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Women programmers are one of the 3:

1.) Asian
2.) Indian
3.) White with pale skin and super frizzy hair that is either strawberry blonde or straight up red.

GNUser
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1. Those are not so bad ;)
2. Not my cup of tea, but not so bad themselves.
3. So... they are SonGoku in supersayian form... with boobs.... is that it? =P

EricxDu
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Joined: 02/03/2013

I've thought long and hard about this situation, and my main solutions are: exchange e-mail addresses or phone numbers. And why not? they are a traditional and still relevant ways of communication. Given, many people are probably so deep into social networking that they won't even try to communicate in a 1to1 way like a phone call or a messaging. But on the other hand, would you want to date someone who is unable to talk except in a public forum?

GNUser
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Well said. I think people these days need to take a look at your past life (through the net) before they decide if they want to be your friends. Lol quite a stupid concept if you ask me :P

oralfloss
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Facebook respects your freedom if you use the mbasic mode. Privacy and tracking is a whole different topic.

EricxDu
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Disregarding privacy and tracking, you can also use Facebook Chat with an XMPP client like Pidgin.

I use it to keep in contact with people I already know who don't use anything but Facebook. That helps me keep in contact without constantly reporting my activities publicly online ;-)

oralfloss
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This sounds pretty interesting. Is it easy to do this? Sounds like something I could try.

Magic Banana

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I do not know for sure (I have never had any Facebook account) but it looks extremely easy. When "adding an account" (from the "Accounts" menu or using Ctrl+A), one of the proposed protocols is "Facebook (XMPP)".

fbit

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snip ----------

Facebook respects your freedom if you use the mbasic mode.

snip ----------

I don't know what oralfloss means by this. I imagine mbasic mode is some sort of mobile mode? In any case I doubt facebook even releases the source of all the code you run through their server. Much less give you the ability to copy or modify it. I don't see how this could respect your freedom. Without further explanation I would say it does not.

snip ----------

Disregarding privacy and tracking, you can also use Facebook Chat with an XMPP client like Pidgin.

snip ----------

As far as I understand (I have never used this), facebook chat does not use XMPP. Rather, it emulates it so you can connect to it using Pidgin. This means you can only chat to other facebook users. So, it is not XMPP and not an open standard. Rather, a proprietary chat that interfaces with Pidgin through some sort of API. Again, something that does not excite me. Since I do not use facebook and I have no intention to endorse its use, I would think that using their proprietary chat service would mean just that. Perhaps slightly better than using it through their software platform, but not much of an improvement. That being said, I would also refuse to sign into skype if they allowed it on Pidgin, as long as they do not allow me to communicate with skype users through an open standard. I just refuse to opt-in to "monopolistic/gated virtual community" practices.

Maybe I'm too strict about it. Who knows. The result is I have very few people I can chat with. For now. I would rather dedicate my time to convincing a few of them to run a real XMPP than use fb myself. I have convinced 2 people so far. Not very good :(

quantumgravity
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"In any case I doubt facebook even releases the source of all the code you run through their server. Much less give you the ability to copy or modify it. I don't see how this could respect your freedom. Without further explanation I would say it does not."

This is true for most of the sites of the www and no problem if we're talking about our freedom.
You deserve control over *your* computer, not over *their* computer. Even if the code of a website is released as free software we can never be sure if they're really running this code and not a different one.

fbit

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My feeling is that I deserve control over the programs I run, whether on my computer or not. You are right that it is the case that many websites try to run code (beside html...and you can see that source, if you consider it code). I try not to use run any of the so called "web 2.0" shit. No java, I mostly disable all javascript, cookies, flash. You're right though, I cannot control 100%. Using facebook is still one of the worse ways to give up your freedom. If not yet, it will be. It is a stupidity to give one corporation (plus their associates, customers, government buddies) all that personal information. But again, to each his own (the problem is programs like fb have collective implications).

oralfloss
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"My feeling is that I deserve control over the programs I run, whether on my computer or not."

You aren't running them if they aren't on the computer you are using. If you give someone a request or submit data, you are still not running a program on their computer.

"You are right that it is the case that many websites try to run code (beside html...and you can see that source, if you consider it code)."

That contradicts what you said in another post. Are you changing your view points for the sake of argument?

"I try not to use run any of the so called "web 2.0" shit."

Then you shouldn't be on this website. If you don't want to run web 2.0 then you idealy wouldn't be contributing to the internet at all.

"No java, I mostly disable all javascript, cookies, flash. You're right though, I cannot control 100%."

And you shouldn't be able to.

fbit

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Internet forums have been around since the early 80's. Added to that, trisquel.info is community funded. We are users. On facebook and other such services, you are the product, not the user. Maybe the term web 2.0 was confusing. I don't use SaaSS.

oralfloss
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"Internet forums have been around since the early 80's. Added to that, trisquel.info is community funded. We are users. On facebook and other such services, you are the product, not the user."

All of those are owned by people, run by people, and contributed to by users. Where's the huge difference that changes Facebook users into "product"s?

"Maybe the term web 2.0 was confusing. I don't use SaaSS."

Service as a Software Substitute (SaaSS) means using a service as a substitute for running your copy of a program.[1]

Don't forget you're on this website.

[1]https://www.gnu.org/philosophy/who-does-that-server-really-serve.html

oralfloss
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"Using facebook is still one of the worse ways to give up your freedom. If not yet, it will be."

"It is a stupidity to give one corporation (plus their associates, customers, government buddies) all that personal information."

You are voluntarily giving information away. You are not forced to give information. Same applies with identi.ca.

"But again, to each his own (the problem is programs like fb have collective implications)."

There is a difference between a program and a service. There are collective implications with any service you use.

fbit

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"You are voluntarily giving information away. You are not forced to give information."

Indeed, it is not physical coercion, which is what I guess you are referring to when you say "you are not forced to..." I don't use it, so it is possible not to do so. However, there are many forms of coercion, such as psychological and social; facebook employs those types of coercion.

Also, many people do not understand the negative consequences of allowing facebook to profile them particularly, and society at large. This is because the effects are not immediately tangible.

"There is a difference between a program and a service. There are collective implications with any service you use."

There's some interesting discussion out there regarding SaaSS. What are the differences for you?

SaaSS takes away your freedoms.
https://www.gnu.org/philosophy/who-does-that-server-really-serve.html

oralfloss
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"Indeed, it is not physical coercion, which is what I guess you are referring to when you say "you are not forced to..." I don't use it, so it is possible not to do so. However, there are many forms of coercion, such as psychological and social; facebook employs those types of coercion."

And Trisquel employs the same rhetoric to get you to donate. Are you saying convincing messages are an attack against your freedom too? Sounds like you're attacking the right to freedom of speech.

"Also, many people do not understand the negative consequences of allowing facebook to profile them particularly, and society at large. This is because the effects are not immediately tangible."

That is their loss. Facebook has a cleary written privacy policy and it is the fault of the users that they do not read it.

"There's some interesting discussion out there regarding SaaSS. What are the differences for you?"

I believe if the proprietary code isn't running on my computer, I am not responsible for it and therefore have no right to redistribute it or read its source code.

"SaaSS takes away your freedoms."

From your link:
"Concretely, it means that someone sets up a network server that does certain computing tasks..."

Trisquel uses software, a.k.a. computing tasks, to post the comments you make.

fbit

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I think we can safely end this thread here. Now Trisquel is coercing me to donate? lol. Anyway, you keep reducing everything else to the absurd.

oralfloss
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Yes. It's perfectly safe to say that Trisquel attempts to convince you to donate.[1]

You have yet to explain at which point something is considered "reduced to absurd." It sounds like you don't even know yourself but rather you are just using it for argument's sake. Are you really trying to defend freedom here or just win an argument?

[1] see pic

Screenshot from 2013-10-05 18:07:47.png
fbit

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It doesn't really matter and I wish you no ill. We can just agree to disagree. I can pay some money in exchange for Trisquel and you can pay with your privacy in exchange for facebook. Let's move on.

oralfloss
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"That's the end of this on my side."
"I think we can safely end this thread here."

Despite all this, you still feel the need to get your last word in. You really are just trying to end this with a moral high ground, rather than defend freedom.

Magic Banana

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Are you seriously writing that an invitation to donate is "psychological coercion"? I completely fail to understand in what way it is bad to ask for donations!